9/11 Where were you? What were you doing? Remembering Brady Howell

9/11. 
I was working at a call center while I was attending graduate school at Boise State University. Tammy & had been married four years and Gabe was almost eight months old. I was working full time and going to school. Mine was the early shift from 6-2:30 PM. We opened that early to be able to take printer support calls from the eastern time zone. That morning started as any other, busy. But then less than two hours after opening the calls stopped. It didn't just slow down- it stopped. At first none of us knew why. Then slowly the information trickled in about something happening in New York City. As news of the events unfolded a TV was brought into our break room so that we could see the live coverage from NYC. We worked our full shifts, didn't close early.  

That night I had class. I left Tammy and Gabe at home and headed to my three hour class- Ethics in the Public Sector. We talked about what had happened. Kind of decompressed. The professor ended class early. I wished I could have been with Tammy all night. The non-stop new coverage was inescapable. When I returned home to Tammy and Gabe and we tried to occupy ourselves with something else. The coverage was everywhere- hard to escape it. I remember watching the few DVDs that we had to change the subject. 

I don't think I'll ever forget where I was. 

Today was Dads and Donuts at Lone Star Middle School and I was able to bring donuts to Selah's class. When we said the pledge 200 + dads in the front foyer of the school, it was pretty amazing. On 9/11 all of us remembering where we were on that day now reciting the pledge of allegiance fr our kids to hear. 

There is not much more to say. I do want to share a memory that I have from 9/11/2001,  about someone I knew.

When I returned to Rexburg, ID and Ricks College in 1995 I began working at a gas station/ video store "Horkley's". When I started I was the only person that was not a local. It was a fun place to work. Many of my coworkers mentioned to me another person that had worked there before he went on a mission and that he would be returning in the spring of 1996. That is when I met Brady Howell. He and had fun when we worked together, we would swap mission stories and give the less active members that worked with us a little nudge (like slamming the cooler door when they would come into work in the morning with a hangover). He and I didn't work together a lot as we were both over 19 and could sell alcohol. But when we did it was fun.

When I graduated in August of 1996, I left Rexburg and moved back to Nampa, ID. I didn't really think much about Brady except when thinking about working at Horkley's as a whole. Then 9/11 happened. After the attacks the names of the people killed were released and I heard the name of Brady Howell. When this occurred it was years since we shared the cash register in Rexburg. By now he had married and was working in Washington D.C. at the Pentagon. When I heard his name I remembered him and realized that 9/11 touched everyone.

Every year on the anniversary of 9/11 I think about Brady's widow and what her life has been like since the loss of her husband and how every year there are many reminders of her great loss.

Brothers- The whole story.

We all have families. I am the oldest of five children. I have two brothers and two sisters. I recently watched the film 'The 5,000 Days Project: Two Brothers'. (Click the link to watch the film) The film follows the lives of two brothers for ten years. It was interesting to see the parallels with these two brothers and the relationship that I have with my siblings.

Cort is two years younger than I. Many times growing up there were little conflicts between us. We'd fight and argue. We'd try to annoy each other- get under one another's skin. But we also played together. I remember many times organizing all our He-Man toys out on our bedroom floor. We'd set them up like a village. Then we'd have our parents get out the old movie camera and film it. Like we were making our own live-action version of the cartoon. Then it was G.I. Joe or Transformers. We were able to play together. We shared a room until I was 12.

Even though we had our own rooms we were still together. Our family built an addition on our home that gave us an upstairs. Cort and I had bedrooms next to one another. We were the only ones upstairs. So were just shared a larger room. A room that had a pool table, hide-a-bed, and a bathroom.

I remember in school we always rode the bus together to and from school. I remember we had an minor earthquake. We were waiting at the bus stop in the fall, Cort had run home quickly to take care of some "business" and the quake hit. I was sitting on the side of the road shivering in the early morning. Cort came running back to the bus stop and asked me if I had been at our house shaking the lights. I told him that I had just been shaking with cold there at the bus stop. Only after we got to school did we find out there had been an earthquake.  Then in sixth grade Cort and I were no longer in the same school. It was interesting not having him around or riding the bus home together.

We'd end up at home at different times and then argue about who was going to do which chore or what T.V. program to watch. Other times we'd work together to get his newspapers folded and then deliver them for his paper route.

In junior high we were in school together again. I was in ninth grade and Cort in seventh. By now we had acclimated to not being together. We each had our own friends that we hung out and walked home with. We'd still see each other at school though, occasionally.

In high school we were together for the last time my senior year and Cort was a sophomore. By this time we were very different people. I was in the Jazz, Concert, and Marching bands; Cort was in Cross Country and Track. Although we had separate lives at school we had something that we always did together at home. We mowed lawns. So even though we might not see each other much during the school day, we'd be ready at home to load up the Datsun pickup and cut grass. at the peak we had roughly 25-30 lawns that we tended to each week.

Then after graduating I went to college. I moved three-hundred miles from home- across the state to Ricks College.  It was the first I'd ever lived on my own and it was exciting. Going from living with my parents and siblings to having five roommates was a change. Talking to my family by phone a few times a week instead of multiple times during the day was a change too. While I was away Cort became the oldest brother. I remember my mom commenting on the change that seemed to have happened. My dad and Cort would argue sometimes, but after I moved away his countenance changed and there wasn't the same level of conflict, like before.

I was in college for a year and then I left for a two- year mission for the LDS Church. For his junior and senior years Cort was the oldest at home. While serving as a missionary I only communicated with my family via letters and the occasional phone call on Mother's Day and Christmas. I noticed a change happen to Cort during this time. He was no longer my little brother, he was becoming my friend.  A friend that had been there with me from the beginning. Through the letters we shared I saw the little brother I remember maturing into a fine young man. Cort continued with Cross Country and Track in high school and then attended a year of college while I was a missionary.

One of the most memorable experiences I have of my time as a missionary was when Cort, while on tour with a performing group from Ricks College came to California where I was serving. I was able to visit with him and then stay for the performance that evening. This was a little less than three months before I returned home.

The summer I returned home Cort was working earnestly to save for his upcoming mission. He had finished one year of college and in September he was leaving to serve a mission in the Philippines. That summer he was in and out leaving town to visit friends going on missions and it was the first time in a long time that I felt alone. Even though I was in the same upstairs that he and I had shared for those many years, when he was not there I was alone in my own room for the first time.

I returned to college the fall after coming home from the mission. Cort left to the MTC soon there after. He was in the MTC for over two months for intensive language training before leaving to the Philippines. Before Thanksgiving I learned that my parents were going to separate and later divorce. A few days after Thanksgiving we were meeting Cort at the Salt Lake Airport on his way to the Philippines. At the airport I was under strict instruction not to talk to Cort about what was about to happen. I obeyed my parents, but I was not happy about it. Cort and I shared letters while he was in the Philippines, but I must admit that I was not the best pen pal. Especially during this time, I was engulfed in my own feelings about the breakup of my family and didn't think about how it effected Cort. I tried to support him as best I could, I remember making a mix tape for him - I called it "Marinduque Blues"- Marinduque was an island where Cort was serving at the time.

While he was in the Philippines I graduated from Ricks College, returned to a very different home than the one he left and I met, dated, and married my wife; Tammy. When Cort returned home from the mission Tammy and I were there to help him adjust to life. He wasn't home too long and he was back at Ricks College. But when he'd come home to visit we always made it a point to spend time together. Cort then continued on to BYU in Provo, UT. Still a good distance away, but he'd visit from time to time. We'd go out Cort, Tammy and I for dinner or spending time together. (Sometimes Cort would forget cash- at that time not all locations accepted debit cards-). While at BYU Cort spent at semester interning for UNICEF in the Philippines. When 9/11 happened that is where he was. He was far from home, but we kept in contact.

In January 2002 Cort was back in Provo at BYU. I was working for HP and attending graduate school at Boise State University with a wife and a small child. January 29, 2002 our mom died. I rushed to meet Tammy and our eleven month son at my mother's home where my youngest brother Clark and youngest sister Carley lived. The ambulance was still there when I arrived. Along with the neighbor from across the street and my dad who came. With our parents divorced Cort and I took to planning the funeral and making other arrangements that were daunting to anyone- especially a twenty-seven and twenty-five year old. This experience; as had others, brought Cort and I closer as brothers.

When Cort married and started a family it was great that we could still be so close and live near each other. We see each other regularly and our kids play together all the time. We both have four kids and they know what it means to be friends with your cousins. When I think back to the times that we argued growing up if you'd told me that we'd be as close as we are today, I would have said you were crazy. But now I know that we're more than family, we're brothers.

From Boise State vs. Utah State

Brothers... (Part 3)

(Continued from Brothers (Part 1 & Part 2)

While Cort was in the Philippines I graduated from Ricks College and returned to a very different home than the one he left and I met, dated, and married my wife; Tammy. When Cort returned home from the mission Tammy and I were there to help him adjust to life. He wasn't home too long and he was back at Ricks College. But when he'd come home to visit we always made it a point to spend time together. Cort then continued on to BYU in Provo, UT. Still a good distance away, but he'd visit from time to time. We'd go out Cort, Tammy and I for dinner or spending time together. (Sometimes Cort would forget cash- at that time not all locations accepted debit cards-). While at BYU Cort spent at semester interning for UNICEF in the Philippines. When 9/11 happened that is where he was. He was far from home, but we kept in contact.

In January 2002 Cort was back in Provo at BYU. I was working for HP and attending graduate school at Boise State University with a wife and a small child. January 29, 2002 our mom died. I rushed to meet Tammy and our eleven month son at my mother's home where my youngest brother Clark and youngest sister Carley lived. The ambulance was still there when I arrived. Along with the neighbor from across the street and my dad who came. With our parents divorced Cort and I took to planning the funeral and making other arrangements that were daunting to anyone- especially a twenty-seven and twenty-five year old. This experience; as had others, brought Cort and I closer as brothers.

When Cort married and started a family it was great that we could still be so close and live near each other. We see each other regularly and our kids play together all the time. We both have four kids and they know what it means to be friends with your cousins. When I think back to the times that we argued growing up if you'd told me that we'd be as close as we are today, I would have said you were crazy. But now I know that we're more than family, we're brothers.

From Boise State vs. Utah State

Homecoming 1991 Mix Tape (Tracks 25-29) The END Finally!

Here it is the end of the marathon that has been the tracks from Homecoming 1991 Mix Tape. If you've been reading and following along you have got a glimpse of what music I was into my senior year in high school. At least the start of my senior year.

Track 25: Is It Me: Huey Lewis & The News. From the album Picture This. This is another tape I WORE out playing in my walkman. Looking at some of these songs; this one, a couple Chicago songs- I was wavering with my self esteem. I guess all teens go through that. Mine had to do with trying to be more than friends with girls. Thank goodness I conquered that fear. It would have been hard to meet Tammy and have the wonderful life we have, if I was too shy.

Track 26: Every Breath You Take: The Police. I have always liked this song. When I added it to this play list I don't think I was paying attention to the lyrics. Not quite the song you want to hear on a date.

Track 27: Waltz Of The Flowers: Fantasia Soundtrack. Being in concert band and jazz band I developed an eclectic taste in music. Here is where shines through. There is awesome music in Fantasia.








Thanks for tagging along on this musical journey from 1991. That was a long time ago, but a part of my life that I never want to forget. I was lucky to have a lot of good friends. We had a lot of fun. When else would just hanging out in a deserted hallway before class been fun. (Right guys!). Thanks to all the people who made that fall fun! Dain Johnson, Robert Weaver, Darin Turpin, John Shumate, Joe Lammers, Athena Stallcop, Janel Kirkman, Laurie Hawkins, Megan Curtis, Bill Hankins, and many others...

And I can't forget BOLT! Ray Sagarik, Rob Kennedy, Rob Pearson, &  Shane Blacker. The lunch in the 500 BLDG hallway that started it all.

Homecoming 1991 Mix Tape (tracks 3-5)

On the way home I listened to the next few songs from the mix tape that I made for Nampa High Homecoming 1991.

Track 3: When You Wish Upon A Star: Billy Joel. This was from a tape I bought "Simply Mad About the Mouse". It was a compilation of artists covering Disney songs. A lot of differing styles. I remember listening to then... not sure where that tape ended up.

Track 4: Can't Stand Losing You: The Police. I had recently purchased a copy of "Every Breath You Take: The Singles" and this was from that tape. Not sure what this has to do with Homecoming or dancing.

Track 5: Man From Snowy River: Main Title. I really like this soundtrack. It relaxes me. It lasted me through two years on a mission in Southern California and I still listen to it today. Like I said before I have very eclectic musical tastes.

Homecoming... 1991

I found a tape this week. Yes, a cassette tape. This is not just any tape that could be purchased at Sam Goody. No, this is a mix tape. I made this mix tape in October 1991. I made it to use as background music for my Homecoming date. So I popped it into the cassette player in my car on the way to work this morning (yes, I still have a cassette player in my car). I listened to a couple songs on my commute to work this morning and thought I'd share them. As I listen to the rest of the tape I might share those songs too. And, you might get some details about my homecoming date as well.

Track 1: Cliffs of Dover: Eric Johnson

I had recently been introduced to Eric Johnson by a friend in Jazz Band (Dain Johnson) so it was something I was listening to a lot. Not sure why I thought it would be good for homecoming, but I have always had eccentric tastes in music.
Track 2: What's On Your Ming (Pure Energy): Information Society

This was my groove. (depending on the day) I have always liked (and still do like) synth-pop. In fact I just picked up the most recent Erasure album  "Tomorrow's World" ; another time perhaps I'll share that. Anyway, Information Society was one of those groups that if a song of theirs came on I had to move-dance! The version I included on the mix tape is actually a remix from a cassette single I owned.

We'll see what the drive home and tomorrow mornings commute will bring...

By the way, I took Athena Stallcop to the dance... In case you wondered.

Response to Superintendent Luna

I tweeted in response to @TomLuna 's new proposal for Idaho schools. You can see his response (if he tweets - I think it is a staffer)- his response above. I read http://bit.ly/aU8WaY and here is my stream-of-conscience-esque response. Take it as it is...

Students Come first(?) Specifics?
Laptops for HS students- I like the idea. I have a couple observations. First, what good are the laptops without broadband internet access? There are still places in Idaho that do not have the infrastructure to bring broadband access to the home, let alone the schools. Second, assurances need to be in place that the program will continue regardless of who the superintendent is. In four years if there is a new Superintendent of Public Education they need to keep the program in place, not cut it at the first sign of budget crisis. Moreover, do not reinvent the wheel. There are many states and districts that have done similar programs with success. We can use the models that they have used to meet the needs. In the past Idaho (in general) has had a history of going it alone… That does not have to be the case. Technology changes so quickly, does Idaho have the fiscal desire to keep up? State of the art technology is not 5-year-old tech! (Businesses replace computers every 3-4 years. The public school where my children attend are not upgrading in that fashion)
Teacher accountability/ responsibility- Do we not have this already? Using student test scores to judge teacher performance does not show how good a teacher is doing. That is not how student-teachers are evaluated! It can be a small component, but supervisor evaluations should bear more weight than a test. That supervisor should be evaluated as well to ensure that there is not bias. In the business world, workers are evaluated on many components not just one, especially one where they are not the sole disseminator of the outcome. Where is parental responsibility? Without parental support to their children outside of the classroom students have a lower success rate. Where does that fit in to the equation? If a teacher has a majority of students from a lower-income area, there will be less parent involvement (both in school and at the home) and those students will, (in most cases) perform lower than others that have the parental support.  Or what about a charter school that can choose/ limit the students it enrolls versus a normal school that MUST take those that reside in the boundaries? There are many charter schools in the Treasure Valley that are not representative of the communities they are in. For example, in Nampa the Hispanic population and the percentage of Hispanic students at the charter schools is not equal. That gives those charter schools a different set of students and parental support than the normal schools.
Last you cannot run government like a business. A great explination of that comes from Lee N. Howell.

Why can't gov't. be run like a business?
By LEE N. HOWELL (April 12, 2000 The Citizen Online)
Politically Speaking
One of the favorite expressions of the verbally challenged political hacks in this country — the ones who can't think of anything original to say and figure that any trite phrase which sounds good on the stump will do — is, “Why can't we run government like a business?” We have all heard it said — we may have said it ourselves — for it does seem that this is one thing that some of every political stripe can agree upon.
But, the bottom line is that government can not run like a business.
The main reason is that government is not a business.
For starters, businesses are supposed to make a profit — and none of us really want government to make a profit.
(Of course, there is some difference of opinion on that point, depending upon whether you are looking at the state or federal government and what your partisan leanings are: In government, profits are called surpluses and, at the state level, Republicans tell us they are bad because they fund all those “pork” projects that Democrats believe are really the “meat and potatoes” their constituents demand; at the federal level, the Republicans and the Democrats, while differing on the specifics, both tell us they are good because they fund the projects we need but can't justify during the years and years of deficits we have struggled through.)
Then, there is the fact that in most businesses — especially the “Mom 'n' Pop” operations which make up the vast majority of America's small businesses and were the beginning of most of the big ones that exist today — the top level management is fairly stable while the employees come and go, sometimes voluntarily and sometimes not.
In government, though, the executives (read that the politicians) are elected for set terms and may be voted out of office on a regular basis, while the employees (read, civil service bureaucrats) are on board for the long haul and can just thumb their noses at the politicians with a
“I'll be here after you are defeated” attitude.
(One of the more controversial elements of Gov. Roy Barnes education reform package — the elimination of the so-called “teacher tenure” law — was aimed at combating this problem: Good teachers — like good administrators who gave up their tenure protection several years ago — don't need the crutch of tenure to succeed, while bad teachers can't survive without it.)
Now, some people who say “government should be run like a business” are probably sincere, and there are some tools used in business that could be useful in government.
But, many people who say it are simply voicing their frustration with what they perceive as a government grown too big. What they overlook, though, is that government is still charged with the
Constitutional responsibility of “creating a more perfect union, insuring justice, promoting the general welfare, providing for the common defense, and securing the blessings of liberty for ourselves and our
posterity.”
That is a big job — one which could sometimes be done more efficiently and more effectively, to be sure — but still a big job that demands big answers.
In the late 1970s, there was an argument in this country over returning control of the Panama Canal to Panama. The same conservatives who argued the loudest against big government were the same people who were most vehement about the U.S. keeping control of the Canal argued the loudest against big government were the same people who were most vehement about the U.S. keeping control of the Canal. What they overlooked was the fact that it took a pretty big government operation to defeat yellow fever, strong-arm local entities who objected, clean out a rain forest, and build the Canal in the first place.
Businesses had dreamed of a “pathway between the seas” — but, if it had not been for government which overcame many of the problems that businesses could not address, there would never have been any Canal to argue over.
Why can't government run like a business? Probably because they are not the same and never will be.

Government is not a business. Schools are not trying to make a profit. Kids WILL suffer. If @TomLuna 's plan was as good as he hopes it is, where are the troves of educators (both in Idaho and outside) applauding it?